Since the release of this study, there has been a flood of follow-up articles analyzing the potential pros and cons of this “new” arrangement. Today I saw one such story in the New York Times that discussed the repercussions of this new gender imbalance specifically for female college students. According to the author, the growing scarcity of men on university campuses is leading to decreased dating amongst co-eds, and heightened insecurities amongst female students who worry about being able to find a suitable match in their early twenties. He writes that this phenomenon has created an atmosphere where it is acceptable for young men to aggressively and nonchalantly play the field, and where young women must reluctantly acquiesce to casual hook-ups and flings in place of committed relationships.
I’m certainly interested in this topic. I am a young professional woman, and as such know many other successful young women. I also know plenty of young men. And, when I reflect, it does seem that my female friends in their early twenties tend (on average) to be more intensely focused on career aspirations, professional growth, and intellectual growth (Although I might argue that for men, this impulse kicks in later, perhaps in the early thirties, when they start to focus more on providing for a family and gaining more financial stability.)
This fact does leave many of my friends feeling uncomfortable. After reading these types of articles, they get nervous about their ability to find eligible men who will be their equal in terms of ambition and intellect, despite their willingness and readiness to be in committed relationships. I myself sometimes wonder, should I be worried about the consequences of my choice to pursue a graduate degree and a career? Are these choices mutually exclusive to choosing a partner and a family? A creeping feeling of panic has been known to set in from time to time.
And this is why I take issue with these articles. The fact that more women are entering college, strengthening their minds, and contributing ideas to the world is something we should all be celebrating, not fearing – it is something that generations of women have fought for. Portraying educated women as “victims” is dangerous because it encourages a social construct where women can only be happy and whole if they are attached in some way to men (a concept we've never forced upon men).
Furthermore, by overstating the potential “negative” consequences of increased female education, we put women in a position to question their decisions around pursuing education – a position that I find to be not only unfair, but also unproductive. A million and one variables exist within each of our individual lives before such a macro-level trend might come into play – family background, ethnicity, religion, geographic location, personality traits, etc. While it is tempting to ponder the potential impact such a cultural and demographic phenomena has on our own lives, we are far better off focusing on the matrix of personal opportunities that lie before us.
As such, while I find the Pew study and these articles interesting and fun to ponder, I refuse to be discouraged by them and acquiesce to the idea that pursuing higher education is potentially cutting me off from a happy romantic partnership. I know plenty of amazing women who balance professional and academic aspirations with wonderful relationships with equally amazing men. I think that these articles don’t give men enough credit - I have faith that the male species is going to evolve with this changing landscape, and we will see a new kind of gender egalitarianism that will surely only benefit both groups. And if not, I can be content in the knowledge that I have pursued my passions and made no sacrifices based on insecurity and fear. I don’t think that is too bad of a worst-case scenario.
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Very thought provoking, Laura, and I agree with your idea that educated women are to be celebrated. A trend that this article suggests that permeates too much of society is that life is filled with zero-sum games. Women who want to succeed academically does not equal less women who want to be moms.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, more women than men on college campuses does mean that they must have more patience when choosing a mate. Hopefully, they won't lower themselves to casual flings if they are desirous of meaningful relationships. I pray that Susanna and Macy will be strong enough to dictate the terms of the dating process if a boy wants to pursue them.